Friday, 13 May 2011

Semi glad tidings

Stupid website was down all evening so I couldn’t publish my post.  I know you must have been desperately disappointed by that. If you haven’t read yesterday’s yet, read that first or this might not make sense (my ramblings are ridiculously complicated to comprehend if read out of order, natch).  On the plus side you now get a two for one deal. Lucky, Lucky You.

I am reverting to my Bridget Jones prologue once more for dramatic effect (mental drum roll if you please):

Bank Balance: £-27.50 (no overdraft agreed so factor in charges and no child benefit until Tues eeeek )

WW points: 22 (out of 29 daily allowance)

Gas Meter : 3.29 Emergency Credit (Thank the lord once more for the emergency credit system)

Number of Employed Adults in the Household: Almost 1.5!!!

I know! I couldn’t wait to share the good news with you all. I know there must have been many tens of you losing sleep over the future financial security of my little patch of heaven in SE23. SO, turns out the horrid couple (henceforth known as The Employers) have informed the recruitment consultant that the other bloke who was up against K for the job has definitely NOT got it and that they would like to go ahead with hiring K – HOWEVER – they are not confirming anything until Monday. (See they are a little horrid to keep me on such tenterhooks).  But with any luck a package for the Branch Manager of the Dulwich Village agency will be sorted on Monday and we can FINALLY crack open the very, very chilled bottle of sparkling I have kept in the fridge for weeks (I fear I should actually use months it has been so many weeks) on end.

Of course I have definitely helped in the whole thing. My years of correcting K when he drops any number of consonants from a word and general helpful hints over pronunciation and correct meanings of the incorrect words he uses, must have helped no end.  Not to mention our little ‘sting’ operation we carried out after the first interview. Once we knew K was going back for a second interview he rang up and asked for some additional information and glossy brochures and then said his wife was having lunch in the area and would pop in to pick them up. I was clearly not lunching in Dulwich Village (it being expensive and the women in Dulwich Village most definitely not being my cup of tea), but it set us up for the ruse.  You see the male of the couple is a raving snob and made it clear from the outset that he viewed K with a little disdain. He mentioned he was concerned that K would struggle with the more ‘discerning’ Dulwich clientele and wondered how he would ‘cope’ with the high prices of the property for sale (for those who have no idea about Dulwich Village – I refer to it as the Hampstead of south London.  It is, as it sounds, a most wonderfully pretty village type of place with expensive shops and eateries and where houses surrounding the considerable park will go for nearly a million – and those are the family sized ones – larger more substantial properties on the main strip will go for easily double that and the inhabitants are ridiculously elitist due to this and the three very expensive and ridiculously elitist private schools that surround the village). So we fought fire with fire; enter stage left the blonde, well spoken, privately educated and vaguely attractive wife. I waltzed in wearing my prettiest dress, most expensive handbag and used my best attempt at perfect received pronunciation and washed it all down with a side order of elitist arrogance and upon his enquiry over my well being and whether he could be of any assistance to me, I revealed myself as K’s wife. I think it worked a treat – along with K’s undoubtedly excellent interview skills. All in all we are quite proud of ourselves.  Although naturally I shall spend the weekend fretting just in case they change their mind or something disastrous. It is amazing what I am prepared for K to put up with on a daily basis in order for us to earn some hard cash. Yesterday’s fear for his mental wellbeing whilst working for these supercilious sods has totally dissipated with the thought of a pay check in a few weeks. Love only goes so far. The Beatles had that very wrong.

Not that the website is currently working, but if it were, you would know that I am writing this in the afternoon! A very rare thing on a weekday. That is because the Manny is almost officially on notice so is trying to prove himself invaluable. I am going along with that ruse too. I left the house at ten to nine this morning and returned over three hours later to discover he had managed to clean most of the kitchen. The rest of the house remained untouched. It is particularly amusing as he has often declared past cleaners to be ‘taking the piss’ for the amount of work they achieve in their allotted three hours. I have derived a huge amount of satisfaction that he has only managed half a kitchen in that time and not the whole house as a ‘professional’ would.  His defence is that he ‘had’ to spend a lot of time talking to the recruitment consultant (a person with whom he has become far too familiar with in my opinion – I am beginning to feel decidedly hostile towards their very friendly conversations at all hours of the day and night. She never appears to go home?) Anyway, any cleaning is a bonus and more than I had intended to do. He is tidying around me feet as I type. Most enjoyable.

Oooh the half person – that is of course me. I am so tantalisingly close to being employed I have included it as a statistic. I am almost 99.9% sure I will get a contract to sign in ten days’ time. Unless of course I manage do something ridiculously wrong in front of the area manager. That is always a possibility. Hence the 0.01%.

Right I must get off and check the blog is back on line; it isn’t. This is ridiculous. Well, by the time you get to read this there may well be a week’s worth to catch up on. You never know WHAT might happen in that time.  I shall carry on writing regardless. Never fear.  As if you would.

Back in a while mis amigos. Xxx

(The website is back. Less than 24 hours after I noticed it wasn’t working. I may have over reacted slightly.)

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