I feel I need to catch up with everything. So to get you up to speed I am doing a summary post.
Bea's hair has grown back which has made me so incredibly happy it is unbelievable. She was suffering from alopecia areata which meant she had unsightly bald patches around her ears, at the nape of her neck and on her crown. The hair has grown back everywhere but most importantly on the top of her head so no one else can see. Big whoop for steroid lotion. G is now able to walk into nursery and say goodbye to me without screaming and kicking the place down so massive progress on his part, the only down side is his insistence on it being his birthday soon. It is still six months away so I am finding the daily questions and tearful realisation that it is not his birthday quite exhausting. Ted is still the devil incarnate with a side serving of angel. He looks like 'butter wouldn't melt' and has a beautiful smile but he has a heart full of darkness. On Tuesday he was being so hideous at playgroup a woman removed her child from next to him in front of me.
Still being a manny although he is desperately trying to leave. He had a second interview today which we will find out about tomorrow, although oddly enough we are worried about him getting it as well as not getting it. The couple that own the estate agency in question are snooty and by all accounts, mean. I'm not happy about him working for horrid people but we are not in a position to be choosy so should we get an offer tomorrow it will be good and bad news.
I have lost more weight this week (thank goodness) so am well on my way to goal - only ten pounds left to go. Phew. For my leader training I have one more practise meeting to go and then my final assessment on 25th May when I shall finally be employed (if I pass but I'm pretty sure that's a given without being too big headed). Oddly enough I feel fatter than I did when I was fatter. I was in quite huge denial about my size pre-wibblies. People keep saying I'm unrecognisable which is so odd to me because I think I now look exactly how I thought I looked before I lost the weight, it's just people couldn't see it. I was walking around thinking I was four and half stone lighter than I was so it was quite confusing to me. I couldn't understand why all the size 24 clothes were fitting me - I was convinced the factory workers in China had mixed up their pattern cutters. I would hold the clothes up and laugh at how big they were and then be utterly mystified as to why they were fitting so well. When I saw pictures of myself I blamed camera angles or unflattering clothing and bad lighting. Even when I eventually weighed in at wibblies I managed to see a different weight on the scales than was actually there. When I got home and saw the weight written in my card I rang my sister and laughed with her about how funny it was that the leader had written my weight down incorrectly. I thought how amusing it would be when I went back and I'd instantly lost a stone. But obviously it turns out she had in fact written it down absolutely correctly and although I'd lost 5.5 pounds, I felt crushed. In my mind I'd put on a stone. Also I was rather concerned by my mind's ability to trick me. It is so odd what you can convince yourself of. However now I actually see my size and my weight correctly I am ridiculously self critical and full of self loathing, hence feeling fatter now than before. Although on the plus side there are now far more photos of me that I like and clothes in a far more socially acceptable size now fit - so I do see the benefits of all this effort.
Apart from that I am very blue about the hideous lack of money. I constantly have the Simply Red ‘Money's too tight to mention’ song playing along in the background of my thoughts -. it's now become very annoying. All efforts to win the lottery have proved unsuccessful and although I should be employed in a few weeks I won’t see any income from that employment for a little while. I don't want to harp on but I am feeling ridiculously sorry for myself. And to add insult to injury the hoover has packed up and having originally found the receipt which acts as guarantee and attempting to ring the manufacturers, I have now managed to lose the receipt without sorting a repair so I am left with a broken hoover I can do nothing about. Oh and my GHD straighteners have also bitten the dust. I realise there are people in the world who have suffered more and I should be grateful for our health and the roof over our head but gratefulness doesn't pay Tesco to bring us food.
And there is always Saturday’s lottery draw to momentarily brighten my outlook. You NEVER know. It would help if you all bought a ticket too and offered to share the winnings. It’s just a thought.
Anyway you are now all caught up. Apologies to those who were not in need of a catch up. I shall revert to normal service from tomorrow.