Thursday, 17 March 2011

Leaving the borough

The advantages of my lazy gene are numerous. The reason we ended up in the picture perfect SE23 is due to my lazy gene (I must be clear here, SE23 to me is the fabulous Honor Oak not the Forest Hill part with which we share a postcode - totally different).  I couldn't be bothered to take too much time over it so we looked at two places in East Dulwich which were small and rubbish and then an estate agent suggested Honor Oak, we saw one flat and bought it. DONE. I never even tried on a wedding dress for the same reason. It seemed an unnecessary effort to take numerous dresses on and off and get all hot and sweaty. Same goes for marrying K. You see, people tend to see being lazy as a negative. They could not be more wrong.

Only today I am reminded of its brilliance. Bea had her appointment with the specialist 'in town' which required us to leave the safety of SE23 and venture north. Luckily she was there to hold my hand as I feel sick with nerves just approaching the station (Leaving SE23 is statistically unsafe - FACT). Even more lucky was that the hospital was off Baker Street which is on the Jubilee line which, also terribly luckily, is easily accessible from the wonderful Honor Oak Station with its new East London Overground line.  I know I am boring but we have lived here for eight years and for the last seven and a half we have had to put up with the unreliable train service to London Bridge so this new revelation in transportation has blown my mind. (Bond Street in 40 mins door to door - it's a whole new world people). Anyhoo, the point is that although this new service is there I rarely use it - cost for one thing (ticket price has tripled since I commuted and I have turned into a hideously middle aged person who tuts and comments on the price of the ticket when they tell me how much it is), secondly I get scared, thirdly I have 3 children 6 and under and only so much patience and arms and legs and lastly I can't be arsed. So all in all trips to anywhere in London are usually done by car or on my own. Therefore Bea's excitement over the train trip was akin to a trip to Legoland. She was awestruck by the train journey, the underground, Baker St and Oxford St (the Disney Store and McDonalds part of it, the rest was just an inconvenience). She didn't even know we were going to the Disney store, she was desperately over excited just by the prospect of a trip on a train to visit a specialist who I had told her was probably going to inject her in the head (she didn't - we're using a cream, phew). I hope that people can therefore learn from my faulty gene and here is the lesson; parenthood is a marathon, not a sprint, do as little as possible for as long as possible so that when you're forced to do anything the children are bowled over by the excitement of it all (don't get me started on the escalator revelation), et voila - a happy childhood. Only as a teenager will she realise there was an awful lot more out there I could have done with her and then I can tell her to get a sodding job and earn the money to do it herself. I am a genius.

Should you still be with me after the boring transport info I feel I should tell you that I am being quite fraudulent this week - I have help. I am not doing this alone. K came home last week from his regular Friday afternoon meeting redundant. It would appear that being an estate agent isn't that great a profession in a bad economy. However I'm not one to dwell and the positives are that he is an awesome manny and housekeeper. I have always, always dreamt of having a housekeeper. K and I often debate what we would do if we won the lottery and me having a housekeeper and not a nanny (I want to have the fun bits and then have someone to swoop in afterwards and tidy up) is top of the list. Now I feel like I have both - I get the kids up and out for the school run and he swoops in like an SAS swat team to clear up any evidence we were ever there. I can leave the house unaccompanied at a moment's notice. I can sit down. I can get someone else to change Ted's yucky nappies and prepare boring meals. It is an amazing eye opener into how the other half live and I can conclusively say that the other half are ridiculously spoilt. It's a piece of piss. Should I ever meet anyone for that side I shall inform them.

Ted remains in good health and although having lost weight (a genius thing as he has now gone down a nappy size which makes them cheaper - so sweet of him to help us out) and his brain is now audibly whirring into action with the mischief he can concoct for the weekend. Oh and the tax rebate has arrived in another joyous envelope from HMRC - I am thinking of sending a Thank You card. Food and nappies aplenty this weekend yipppeee! As my mum is very fond of saying 'these are the good times'.

Have a great weekend lovely people - I am very merry after a large glass of red right now so I love everyone. I may even wink at K.

Night night.


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