I have a lazy gene. I know because my mother told me and she knows everything. In fact my favourite saying of hers is 'you don't know what you don't know' which is a fabulously ridiculous way of telling me (and other similarly knowledge challenged sisters) that she knows what we don't and we won't find out until we have made the mistake we are about to make which she knows full well to be a mistake but we don't.
This lazy gene affects every aspect of my life - some quite positive - for example I am highly unlikely to ever be bothered enough to develop OCD or anorexia nervosa and I'm quite sure I couldn't be faffed with all the hassle of an affair and I am very easy going about most thing, so in many ways it's a good thing. However on the negative side it does mean I am quite good at giving up on things and if it was up to me I would spend a large proportion of my time on my arse watching tv and eating cake. This aspect makes sticking to any diet (which is obviously needed as my gene naturally gives me a predisposition to fatness) quite tricky. But against all odds I have managed to lose 4st since the birth of the last offspring thanks to Wibblies and I am proud to say that in the next few weeks I shall no longer be technically obese, I shall finally just be fat. It is the stuff of dreams.
It is even more amazing that with this gene I have now signed up to become a Weight Watchers leader. I was already keen on the earning money aspect but as soon as the recruiter told me there was a training weekend I would HAVE to attend I lost the required weight pretty quickly and here we are, all signed up and counting down the days until 15th April. Three days and two nights, on my own. In a hotel. Who wouldn't lose weight for that?
I haven't worked in paid employment for over six and a half years. When I was pregnant with Bea I knew very well that I would never return to my job from maternity leave. For a start I worked in PR and the people I worked for took it far too seriously, but I also knew I never wanted to hand my baby over to anyone else to look after as I assumed I would be far better at looking after her than anyone else (and not to brag in case it comes back to bite me on the bum but I was bloody right). But, it's six and a half years on and I feel that I ought to have the 'something else' that new mothers keep telling me they are returning to work to benefit from. Admittedly I would only have a few meetings a week and the children will either be at school or in bed but it is most definitely a start and a dip of the toe into a world away from my children. There is however, one small fly in my ointment, which is that I'll have to lose a further 17 pounds in the next few months to get fully qualified, but I will have to do my very best to suppress my lazy gene and get on with it.
Ironically I am a rubbish weight watcher actually. I eat kids leftovers all the time, I take every party bag that the kids bring home and remove the cake telling them it's yucky so I can eat it when they are in bed, I don't count the points from food i don't want to admit to eating and sometimes I assume I will lose weight just because all the people in front of me in the queue to get weighed have had good weight losses. I think the only reason I have got this far is due to Ted's demonic gene. If it wasn't for him running around trying to kill or maim himself and others then I wouldn't have had to get up off my fat lazy gene and chase after him. Which just goes to prove that there really is a silver lining to every cloud.
Sweet dreams x