Saturday, 9 April 2011

A week in the life

Tadaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh! I'm back. I can only imagine your excitement. So, I survived the four nights out but miserably our laptop did not. Not because it accompanied me on any of the nights out but because I left it alone with K who hasn't quite got to grips with the idea of 'spam' . Upon seeing an email from his uncle in the dedicated spam file he decided to open the unnamed attachment in said empty email and shockingly, it turned out not to be from his uncle but a nasty spam email with a virus attached. GENIUS. So, we are a laptop down until and if (big if) our lovely friend can fix it. I knew you wouldn't be able to last without all the latest excitement from SE23 so I cunningly borrowed this netbook from our nice neighbour et voila! I'm here. I'm finding the small keys very hard to use though (net books are TINY) so it's taking a jolly long time. Bear with.

So, where shall I begin. Monday. Boring. Tuesday - Anniversary. It rained. It has never rained on our anniversary and it upset me. I mean there may have been the odd spot once a few years ago but honestly, the 5th April is usually sunny. Our wedding was beautifully hot and sunny, unseasonably so, and every year since has been amazing too - a 'sign' if you will - that we are on course. I take a lot of notice of the weather and what 'sign' it might be showing me - in fact I am quite convinced that the weather on your wedding day is a reflection of the bride's virtue and whether the union is a good one. (PLEASE NOTE the Rooneys went to Italy in the summer to marry and it rained - there is some method to my madness). Obviously I only told anyone of my suspicions after I got married and my virtue and union had been assured by the weather.  Anyhoo, the rain on Tuesday threw me and I couldn't relax for fear of something bad happening so, coupled with our severe money shortage we decided to rethink our venue choice and relocated our celebratory meal to one of the two Italian restaurants Honor Oak has to offer.  Much safer. Although I was ridiculously overdressed for the last minute change, wearing as I was a particularly revealing and 'dressy' dress which must have looked distinctly silly to the other patrons who were happily relaxed in their jeans and polo shirts. Still, better to be a big fish in a small pond than the other way round.

Wednesday. Hungover. Ouch. Went to Wibblies in the morning and had finally shifted the two pounds needed to get me to 60 pounds lost and more crucially to my training weekend. Now only 14 pounds to go to goal. Yipppeee!! The evening heralded the third night out in a row and a very delicious meal at a pregnant friend's in Shepherd's Bush, which required a long drive north during which I encountered many an annoying Chelsea fan. Two nearly died as a result of their jay walking. Idiots.

Thursday. Took Bea back to the consultant's 'up town' and had a fabulously successful morning. At first I was thrown by the Oxford St Disney Store being closed down - clasping as Bea was, the ten pounds given to her by her godmother, intent on purchasing the Hannah Montana lunch bag I failed to buy her last time - however I rallied quickly and introduced her to Selfridges. She LOVED it. It was a whistle stop tour as we only had half an hour before our appointment but it was enough for her to get the idea of the place - she was very impressed and I like to think that even some of the hardened perfume sales assistants melted at her skipping along joyfully just happy to see their displays. As we left she gave Selfridges the ultimate seal of approval by proclaiming it to be 'even better than the Big Shop'. The big shop being Sainsbury's, her only other retail point of reference. We had to rename it after a particularly upsetting incident many years ago when Bea had managed to confuse the word Sainsbury's and Cinema. I did think her and her brother were unusually excited as we got into the car for the weekly shop, but I put it down to childhood exuberance. The scene began as we turned into the car park and it lasted a ridiculously long time with both of them expressing their deep displeasure at my stupidity. My protestations that Sainsbury's did indeed still have popcorn did little to placate the crying. So, from that moment forth it was named the Big Shop to avoid any future confusion.

Appointment quickly out of the way (the hair is beginning to grow back which is a good sign but she mysteriously has very low iron levels) we moved onto Covent Garden and the open Disney Store where we purchased said lunch box then watched an entertainer, nipped into my friend's gallery, grabbed a kid's meal from McDonald's and still managed to get her back in time for her afternoon's lessons. It is very rare for me to do so much in one morning. Luckily the manny was at home so I was able to nurse my hideous cold (so unfair to get one just as the sun comes out) before having to rush out that evening for more stupid Weight Watchers training. I was 'meeting' and 'greeting' new members for a woman who wore solid blue eyeshadow and inch long fluorescent pink nails. Fun, fun, fun.

I'm beginning to re-think the genius of all this training. It's starting to be a real inconvenience and all I really wanted was the free weekend away at the hotel and spa. Although now it's nearly here (this time next week I'll be sitting on my own in a hotel room; most probably moaning into my mobile phone) I am having serious doubts about going. I cannot imagine abandoning all the children for three nights and taking off for Bristol. It is all too much and making me feel quite sick. Plus I will have to be nice and smiley to the strangers I am holed up with for three solid days. I am not sure I can keep up the facade for that long. A few hours is my record.

Tomorrow morning sees the official start of the Easter holidays as the children and I leave for the peace and tranquility of the Suffolk countryside with a staycation chez Grandma. I have no idea what on earth I shall do for internet access once we're there though as my mother is adamant that she will never have broadband at her sacred home lest the filth available on the web flow through the wires and fly out to sully her home. I shall have to escape to my sister's when I can, although I have to fight her four children for a slot on their shared computer, but I shall do my very best.  Right I must go - K requires some attention as he is acting as if he is not looking forward to us leaving him alone for five days and that he will in fact miss us all terribly. (I should imagine that by the time he has his first beer and long nap on the sofa in a quiet house the feeling of loss will quickly dissipate so I'm not being particularly sympathetic).

Seeya laters alligators xxxxxxxxxxxxx

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