Friday, 9 December 2011

Worrying dramatics

WELL DONE FOR WAITING. You are so very good at waiting. Thank you for waiting so nicely for me. It's lovely of you to wait so patiently for me to get back to you.

As you can see I am in the middle of a positive parenting offensive with Ted. A friend with three boys has recommended it and as all else has failed I am giving it a shot. I have only been doing it for 24 hours so I'm not sick of it yet. I am to give him enthusiastic positive affirmations when he is being well behaved and ignore all attention seeking bad behaviour. So far so good. He has been amazingly well behaved all day. Although that could be the drugs I gave him at 3.30am to get him back to sleep which he obediently did for a pleasing further three and a half hours. Or it could be both - good sleep and positive praise clearly bring out his good side - he has been a total delight and a pleasure to be around. He did punch a boy and shove another at the party this afternoon but I think that is splitting hairs.

I am beginning to wonder if his flair for the dramatics might stem partly from me. In the last twenty four hours I have over reacted heavily to three appliance malfunctions. The first was the dishwasher which refused to start.  I started yelling - 'NOOO not for Christmas, not to me' and desperately wondering how much an integrated dishwasher would cost. I viewed the pile of dishes on the side with a sense of fear and dread and fell upon a friend at playgroup who had recently suffered a dishwasher disaster and demanded the number of the man who had fixed it. Upon my return from playgroup I discovered the dishwasher was back in working order. Drama over. The second was the Sky box this morning - Ted grabbed me from the kitchen to show me that the TV had fallen over and hit the Sky box. The TV still worked but it was telling me that no satellite signal was being received. I got VERY upset. I realised how much I would rather the dishwasher was broken for Christmas than the Sky Box. I unplugged and replugged everything but to no avail. There was no time to grieve as we were running late for school yet again. I did shout to no one in particular, whilst hurridly making the packed lunches, about how we will only be able to watch the freeview channels and what that meant in terms of Ben 10 etc. I was desperately trying to quell the rising sense of panic in my stomach, especially as I'd had a recent conversation with their insurance sales department and told them that I'd take my chances rather than pay £5 a month for their assurances. Plus the Sky box is incredibly sensitive so I was quite sure a TV falling on it was not a good thing. However, again, after a few hours the miracles continued and it came back on as if no TV had ever fallen upon it. By this evening when the microwave shut down for no apparent reason I was ridiculously calm, particularly as this is the appliance I care the least about. It is not essential and they are cheap to replace. Anyway thanks to the other two dramas I reacted calmly and rationally and discovered the plug had come out slightly. I didn't even have to wait a few hours for that appliance miracle.

I do like to make a mountain out of a mole hill. I don't know why as I am not the dramatic type - I fear it is because I have been 'at home' for so long and I have a related locked in syndrome which means that relatively minor events to the world outside, become dramatic occurrences that need endless discussion by me in my very small world. I have a very long suffering sister who patiently listens to all of my ridiculous neuroses so that I don't have to burden anyone else with it all. Luckily so or I would be sadly alone in the world. There was a time when I talked about which wardrobes I should buy for so many weeks that I am now forbidden to ever mention the word wardrobe. She is very long suffering. When I was pregnant with Ted and the world economy started to implode I became obsessed with procuring a gun so that as the world went to hell I would be able to defend my house and feed my children (I'm not sure how - probably by holding other people up with the gun and stealing their food - who knows). I was at the point of stockpiling tinned goods when my sister intervened and got my mother to ring me. It is very rare for her to have to bring in the big guns but in her defence I had gone too far towards the dark side. I see that now. Mum was reassuring and told me that the world economy would have to continue on some level so reverting back to bartering was unlikely and also that as long as I could get to hers she had a shot gun and a large vegetable patch. We would survive.

Luckily one of my biggest worries - that of major tooth issues which I could not afford to solve - has been totally allayed today as I have completed the second stage of my root canal overhaul. The dentist did continue to sing whilst poking around in my teeth - my favourite was her version of Adele's, Someone Like You - only interrupted by her asking the assistant to grab things or 'more suction please'. Apart from the injection to numb me and the odd singing, the whole situation was strangely relaxing and I was quite sleepy at the end of it - it is the closest I shall get to a beauty treatment for a while so I have to take pleaseure where I can. However on the down side I have been left with a temporary topping until the crown is ready to fit and now I look as if I have a large lump of chewing gum stuck to one of my teeth. I also still have a throbbing pain under the tooth but I am desperately hoping that will subside. If it doesn't I will of course worry about it all weekend.

Still, this weekend is all about the happiness so I shall try to stop all my silly worries - we are putting up the Christmas decorations tomorrow and turning the living room into a mini grotto so I am very excited. The tree is up and standing (NEVER let the children choose one - it cost me £50 which was upsetting but by the time I found out the cost George had cuddled and kissed the chosen tree and they were all jumping up and down excitedly so I had no option but to hand over my card) and ready to be dressed. The children do the decorating every year but obviously I have to then rearrange. They only hang the decorations on one side and they are all at their height so I have to intervene. Doesn't everyone? 

The only thing I worry about with the tree is that it will attract burglars who will be enticed in by the twinkling lights and the thoughts of presents under the tree. I make K stay up very late on Christmas Eve guarding the gifts under the tree so that I might sleep slightly easier. My BIGGEST ever fear after death is someone stealing Christmas on Christmas Eve so that the children come down to nothing. But I think that is normal. Doesn't everyone go to bed on Christmas Eve wondering if they will have everything stolen overnight?

I better go. I worry I am worrying you. xxxxxxxxxx

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