I haven't got long so don't get settled - this is a quickie. Ted is temporarily placated with Toy Story after a very destructive and vicious psycho rampage which occurred after we had to return a pair of Spiderman Slippers as we left a friend's house and I gave him a bag of chocolate buttons in compensation. By the time we walked through our front door I could tell he was on a mission to destroy. He has knocked over small tables, thrown toys to the four corners of the living room and pulled out multiple jigsaw puzzles so that they are all jumbled up on the floor in a puzzle puddle - he has also threateningly put his hand down his nappy in a way that suggests at any moment he might whip it out and pee on the floor (this is a worrying new turn in his behaviour - but now is not the time to go into detail). Naturally, rather than set about rectifying the Spiderman Slipper Rampage I am sitting here looking at it as I write to you instead. The great news is that I am off to my mother's in a few hours so I am wilfully ignoring all housework before I leave so that K can spend the evening sorting it out before the cleaner comes tomorrow. I know - more decadence but it is K's bday on Sunday so, being the loving and generous wife I am, I have said he can have the weekend to himself and a cleaner as his present - he wasn't that keen on the cleaner part but it was a non-negotiable part of the gift so he has had to get over it.
So, I promised you joy and unbridled happiness, and here it is. As per usual money has changed my life and I am now back to my smiley and cheery self. Not only does Ted have some fabulous new winter boots thanks to my monthly income plopping into my account (I find joy in all shopping - even children's shoes - it boils down to the fact that I just like spending money - but don't tell my mother as I have been denying her persistent accusation of such for 30 years) but last night K and I also discovered that we had £118 of unclaimed Tesco reward vouchers AND they are still doing their reward exchange which means that after a few hours working it all out online, I am currently awaiting £220 (I have left a bit for the new year) in vouchers in the post so that I can go and spend them all on toys with NO GUILT. Can you imagine my joy. It was a little like getting four numbers on the lottery. £220 of toys FOR FREE. Nada. Niente. Nothing. Muchos Happios. Now, as much as I would like to say that that would pay for all of their Christmas presents, in the real world even the most average of toys seems to be £20 so really it will buy around 10 presents. But still, split between three children it is a most appreciated start to the proceedings and it has put me in an alarmingly festive mood. I am actually excited about advent. Even K has started taking an interest in my toy research now he knows it is free. As if the evening couldn't get any better Boden then emailed me to say they would like to give me 25% off and free p&p so I got G's winter coat for £36. Things like this can keep me happy for weeks. Although I ordered it in yellow as I am so OVER navy blue and I am absolutely sure G will deem it horrid due to the bright colour. I am hoping that wrapping it up and saying that the big FC and his Elves made it for him will make it more appealing. I wonder if I should cover the Boden label with a home made north pole looking one. Is that too much attention to detail? Would G even notice? Unlikely. It might be fun though. I'll let you know.
I must race off and pack up so that I can snatch the children from school early and away to Suffolk before the rest of the world joins me on the road. A huge traffic jam could majorly ruin my joyous mood - although even a trip to the dentist's this morning was enjoyable in my new altered state. I was so happy to be able to register with an NHS dentist near my home and to also discover that they are going to perform my root canal surgery next week for only £47, I almost broke into a skip as I walked out the door. All my other root canal (turns out flossing is actually quite vital for good teeth but I still can't get into the habit) has been prohibitively expensive and courtesy of a wealthy private dentist, so to me this seems like very good fortune indeed and combined with my Tesco extravaganza I can't help but feel the Gods are on my side. So, before I get too sickening with my unbridled happiness and joy, I shall leave you to your weekends - enjoy, enjoy - it is the last weekend in November, K's Bday and a sign that advent is imminent. Joy to the world. Jingle Bells, Batman Smells, Ted just pissed on the carpet... la la la la la la la la etc. Adios amigos xxxxx